Alanshospitalizations began to grow closer together. Instead of one time a year it was more like two or three. Every time I found out he had to be admittedagain, I would cry so he couldnt see me.Then I would mope around until I saw him happily packing for the trip,making sure we didnt forget his favorite stuffed animals, Flower the Dog(named after Flower the Skunk in Bambi) and Mickey Mouse. He also packed as many dinosaurs, books, andaction figures as he could stuff into a duffle bag. One time he reassured me, You know, once they get the i.v.started, being in the hospital isnt so bad.

The firsttime he felt really bad in the hospital was in the fall of 1996 when he wasseven years old. He didnt feel likeplaying. Running and even walking madehim get out of breath. I taught him thescripture from Isaiah 40:31, They that wait upon the Lord shall renew theirstrength. They shall mount up withwings as eagles. They shall run and notbe weary. They shall walk and notfaint.

Thedoctor asked us to attend a meeting with his team to discuss Alan. When Bob and I got there, several doctorsand the social worker were there and I noticed a box of tissues in the middleof the table. They showed us hismedical records and proceeded to explain his condition. There is a wide range of severities of CF.The doctor said that Alan was at the far end of the spectrum of severe. They based this partly on his pulmonaryfunction tests, which I was convinced were not accurate because he was tooyoung to perform the test properly.They told us to expect that Alan would be hospitalized about every threemonths from then on. I was shaken, butI didnt need the tissues. I wanted to believe they were wrong, but at the sametime I knew they were more knowledgeable about CF than I was.

We wentback to Alans room where he was attached to supplemental oxygen. Many times throughout that hospital stay helooked up at me with tired eyes and said, Mommy, tell me about the eagle.

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